“We just didn’t have chemistry.” — the most common post-date verdict. But what is chemistry, really, and does it reliably predict long-term compatibility?
1 · Understand what chemistry is (and isn’t)
Neurologically, that lightning-bolt feeling is a dopamine & norepinephrine cocktail. Great for butterflies; terrible for sober judgement. …
2 · The three layers of attraction
- Visual spark — face symmetry, body language, grooming.
- Intellectual resonance — shared humour, curiosity, values.
- Emotional safety — ability to be seen & accepted.
3 · Re-calibrating your ‘chemistry radar’
Elite professionals often have a hyper-selective radar tuned to ‘wow’ moments. Try a “10 % rule”: if there’s even a 10 % intrigue, grant a second date…
True compatibility feels like calm excitement—not a roller-coaster.
4 · Put the science to work
- Schedule dates to be 90 minutes max—keeps dopamine spikes manageable.
- Swap “What do you do?” for “What lights you up outside of work?”
- End the evening with one genuine compliment plus a concrete next step.
Want expert guidance? Our matchmakers blend psychology with rigorous vetting to help you find a partner with whom chemistry grows, not fades.